Love is wonderful, and our commitment to love is expressed through marriage. We celebrate and profess vows. We make promises to one another to stay by each others side in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. These beautiful vows are made with perfect intentions. No matter what comes our way, we will be together ’til death do us part’. Reality may not be what we hoped for; you may end up asking ‘what can I do to save my marriage’?
Having a great marriage is not taught in school, so you may not yet be equipped with the skills you need to have the marriage you want. But even in bad situations, such as adultery, it is possible to turn the situation around and save your marriage. Remain hopeful because you are not alone. At this point you need to understand clearly what you should do, and also what you should not do in the reconciliation process. You have a desire to save, even transform, your marriage which is what led you to this article in the first place.
Your marriage is somewhere in the relationship life cycle, which has six stages:
1. Romance and infatuation
2. After the honeymoon
3. Staking your territories
4. Evaluation
5. Reconnection
6. Commitment
You are likely in stage 4 right now, and wanting to get to stage 5. But you may be also be wondering why you married your spouse in the first place. Perhaps marriage would be better with a different spouse. It is a difficult time realizing the dream, your vision of marriage, is not what you now have. The romance and infatuation stage is long gone and so are the blissful feelings of the honeymoon stage. While this is emotionally very hard, it is also perfectly normal. Closeness and intimacy, and sexual relations, change for the worse and this is the point where one of you may consider an affair. Avoid this no matter how difficult it seems at the moment. Remember you took vows, and now you must develop the skills to reconnect with your partner and change your marriage. Working through this will be painful and difficult, but keep the goal in mind. Make sure you equip yourself with the right tools to make the process more effective. By doing this you can get the result you want and avoid becoming a marriage statistic.
Typical difficulties are: what if my spouse does not want to save the marriage, can I get past the hurt, what can we do build trust in each other again. Caution is recommended here. If you are the one who needs forgiveness, begging for forgiveness or promising to change may get a response opposite to what you want. Picture yourself in their shoes. What if you are the one who needs to forgive? Can you forgive them? Under what conditions? These are not easy questions and you need to clarify your feelings and have a plan to work through this stage. Seeking a quick fix at this point instead of addressing core issues is the biggest mistake most couples make. Most marriage problems develop over time and it takes time to solve them. By equipping yourself properly, you will make it to the reconnection stage, and you will not be wondering ‘is there any way to save my marriage’.
Are you ondering what can I do to save my marriage? Do you have the skills to transform your marriage into the life of your dreams? Visit www.YourLoveSecret.com/blog to find the best advice on what can I do to save my marriage.
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