A huge problem in relationships comes up all the time. This is when your ex cheated on you, you got mad and kicked them out, and now you want them back. This happens all the time.
Is there a way to get them back and yet stop infidelity from occurring again? Is there a way to get them back and keep your dignity? After all, they cheated on you, so if you just take them back you can end up dealing with the same problem just down the road. You want them back, but you don’t want any more infidelity.
What can you do? Well, there are a few very powerful steps you can take to get your ex back and keep them from cheating on you again. The first step is to have a short, special conversation with them where you set them up to listen to you. You do this by assuring them that you arent going to attack or fight with them, so they just need to listen, not argue or defend or attack.
Once you have done this, you then need to tell them how theyre cheating made you feel. You then vent all of your hurt feelings. Try not to attack, but use I Statements. I feel hurt. I feel betrayed. I feel like I cant trust you again.
The important thing is to vent your hurt feelings using I Statements directly to your ex and try to make sure you feel heard. If you get your hurt feelings off your chest you create room for forgiveness and a stronger relationship in the future.
So once you have vented for a bit, you can ask your ex if they understand how they made you feel. If you feel heard by them, you will likely be much more able to begin to forgive them. The next step is to ask if they’ll promise not to cheat again. If they agree, you can then talk about taking them back.
So the critical point is to not attack your ex, but create a short period of time where they can listen to the pain they caused you. This is much more important than trying to attack or harangue them about what they did. When they can listen to you vent, you will begin to feel better and more able to forgive.
There is obviously a lot more to this, but just following the above few steps can make a big difference. It will take some more time to rebuild the trust, but first you have to begin to let go of the negative feelings. The important thing is that infidelity can be healed and you can end up making the relationship stronger.
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